


why do you care? (does anyone care?)

by cheapsushi



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club
Genre: Angst, Confusion, Gen, didnt feel like anything shippy with this, feelings are hard, i guess?, ian and luke are platonic in this sorry, idk what else id call it, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 15:56:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17348159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheapsushi/pseuds/cheapsushi
Summary: ian saw it. he saw how much luke cared. luke cared about everyone and everything, without question. how? why?luke saw it. he saw that his friends didn’t care about him as much as he cared about them. it hurt, but maybe that was okay.





	1. what ian saw

**Author's Note:**

> hey just a vent fic

Ian saw it. He was probably the only one who did. He saw that Luke cared more about everything around him than any average person should.

Luke was the kind of person who poured themself into others, an eternal fountain of giving and safety.

Ian saw instances of this in many situations, with his fellow Hidden Block members and, on some odd occasions, the Normal Boots guys. He would always check in on them, make sure they were feeling okay, that they weren’t overwhelmed. All. Of. The. Time.

How did he do it? How _could_ he do it? He always gave, never took, never asked for anything, never thought about himself first even once. And what did he get for it? A pat on the back? A thank you? A hug?

Was that worth the constant strain?

It couldn’t have been, could it?

So why did he do it?

Maybe it was for attention, Luke liked that, right? Attention from girls, he was single after all; it could all just be a ploy, girls liked caring guys, probably.

But what did _Ian_ , of all people, know about girls?

He discarded that theory quickly.

Ian kept thinking on it, observing Luke and his actions toward others. He was such a mom, watching over his friends and everyone he met, making sure they were eating and just feeling generally okay. Luke never jumped to point fingers, never put the blame on anyone, always tried to see both sides of the stories and make everyone happy.

He was so different from Ian, the stubborn mule of Hidden Block. Luke always cheered everyone up, always tried to bring a smile to Ian’s face especially, possibly since they’d been best friends since their first year at Asagao.

Their dynamic was something interesting, that was for sure- they balanced each other out.

Luke’s upbeat optimism was what got Ian’s downcast cynicism to see clearly. Ian would’ve never been able to get of the ground if it weren’t for him.

Ian thought on several occasions that Luke _had_ to have been some god-sent saint brought to this random high school to make their lives less miserable, but that was as unbelievable as Caddy shutting his damn British mouth for once.

Luke must’ve been doing this for something. Some egotistical thought, an insatiable strive for success, or maybe even just a taste for praise and glorification.

But even with these ideas spilling into Ian’s head, Luke couldn’t have had malicious intent. Ian had no proof, but he knew that just wasn’t a Luke thing to do.

Maybe... he was doing all this to make himself feel better. Seemed possible, Ian would never tell Luke, but on nights when Ian lied awake at night, unable to sleep, he swear he could hear muffled sobs from his right.

It wasn’t like he could confront Luke about it, though, he’d most likely turn the question around and ask why in the hell Ian was up that late. Besides, he probably wouldn’t want to confide in Ian at all. If he were Luke, he sure wouldn’t.

So maybe Luke just had an insecurity somewhere. That could explain it. All of this. Him being a caring asshat. Surely.

Ian knew that there was something more to it, but he wanted to believe there wasn’t.

He wanted to believe that he was flawless.

He wanted to believe that he wasn’t holding any repressed feelings in.

He wanted to believe that Luke was doing this from the good in his heart.

He was going to believe that he was perfectly okay, that he just wanted to spread happiness and love onto everyone he met.

That’s what he wanted to see, after all.


	2. what luke saw

Luke saw it. He was just a side character, so to speak. In the grand scheme of things, he didn’t matter. He wasn’t important, and that was just fact.

His friends were much more important than him, so it made sense that they care about people much more important than Luke. It just made sense.

It sure didn’t stop the stinging, though.

He poured so much into everyone he met, trying to show how much he cared. And it worked!

He saw that he always managed to cheer them up somehow if they weren’t feeling themselves, whether it was intentional or not. And it felt good seeing his friends so joyful, that should’ve been enough for him.

But it wasn’t.

Maybe it was because it looked like no one was going to do the same for him.

He felt really selfish, expecting his friends to show they cared in return for his efforts. If he was actually doing this from the good in his heart, shouldn’t he be satisfied without reward?

_Was feeling cared for the reward?_

_Will anyone care about you?_

_What do you get for this?_

_Why are you doing all of this?_

_And how can I stop?_

He couldn’t. He couldn’t stop caring. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t explain it. He just...

Couldn’t.

Even when this lonely paranoia was eating him up from the inside, he knew it was okay.

It just meant that his friends didn’t see anything to worry about in him.

It hurt. It really hurt. It would keep hurting, and maybe that was okay, too. He could keep hurting for them. They were worth it.

Maybe, if he kept caring too much, he wouldn’t feel as alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this is so short, im working on better asagao stuff i promise :)
> 
> have a good night everyone <3


End file.
